“It’s Just One of My Mess-Ups”

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

Where do I begin? How do I begin? Will anyone even care to read it? Who am I to do this? – Questions, doubts, excuses to not start. God has been working on me for years. I have loved my career as a high school teacher! I still do. Yet, God’s voice. Change. Shift. Change is scary! And exciting…yet scary!

God has been working on my husband and I too. Together through the years. We’ve flat out said “no, no thank you”. And then God got His way anyway! 🙂 When we entered into the filming of “For the Life of the World” we had no idea of God’s full plans. I’m not sure we do now either! (That’s the exciting part…and the scary part!). When we initially said “no” to that project (in an effort of being humble…saying “but it’s NOT about us”), I’ll never forget what God said to me. “You’re right…it’s NOT about you…it’s about ME and I want you to tell your story and reflect my glory”.

So we’ve been doing more and more of that since then. Just trying to tell our story and reflect HIS glory. Speaking. Videos. Walk for Water continues. The story continues. Yet this writing of a blog and eventually a book? Exciting yet scary. So I haven’t started…until today. I found the courage through an interaction I had today with one of my students. God gets His way again. 🙂

“Want it? It’s just one of my mess ups”. These words were spoken to me today by one of my students. I had just left a rather long meeting and ran into her in the hallway as she was carrying 3 pieces of artwork she had created. “UM… of course I want one of those! Are you sure? They’re gorgeous!!” She insisted that they were all just mess ups and she was simply going to get rid of them.

As I drove home, with the piece sitting on my car seat, I reflected on her words and the piece of art…well, and life.

Her “mess up” is full of beauty, but she doesn’t see it. I imagine because as an artist, she had an idea in her mind and it just didn’t “turn out” that way. Life. Hard to see the beauty in our own mess ups. Imperfections. Disappointments. Unmet expectations.

Yet to me, this work is so amazing. Someone suggested to me that I could use it to put my keys in, or my spare change. At first I thought “Oh, great idea.” But then as I kept looking at it, remembering the dear person who had offered it to me, and the beauty I see in it, I rejected that idea. Something deep within me wanted it to just BE. To be still. To not have to have a purpose for being, but rather just be beautiful for being. Even as a mess up. Life. Hard to just let a mess up be just that, and revel in its beauty. What we learned from it. What we’d do differently next time. Mess ups are a part of the journey. It’s what we decide to do with them that matters. Do we try to get rid of them? Hide them under keys and change? Or can we instead let them sit and rest? And be a reminder of more than the mess up? Find the beauty in them?

In her offering and my acceptance there is a beauty there as well. When I look at it, I know the soul whose imagination first brought it to being, I know whose hands crafted it. Life. Shared. Offering our mess ups to others. Acceptance of those mess ups. Perspective. Grace. Finding the beauty in the mess ups. Sometimes it takes others to show us what we ourselves cannot see and only through offering our mess ups do we get that chance.

“Want it? It’s just one of my mess ups”. Yes. Yes I do. It gave me the courage to begin the blog today. Perhaps my words don’t flow as I wish them to every day. Perhaps it’s just one of MY mess ups. Yet, here you go. My offering to you. I hope you find beauty in it today.

May God inspire you and encourage you through my humble thoughts. When I remember Jeremiah 29:11, I remember that it’s NOT about me, my doubts, my fears, my questions…it’s in His hands and He knows the plans He has. And I’m learning that He gets His way! And that’s ok, because His way IS the best possible life. May you lean into that still, small voice today and His plans for YOU.

More blogging to come…and a book in the future too. Keep checking back! Feel free to leave a comment or contact us. We’d love to hear from you!

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